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To all my Brothers and Sisters...

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 9:42 pm
by Scuba
A lot of us struggle every day with demons, many of us with demons we picked up serving our country. I read this today and wanted to share it with you all. If it saves one life, Thank God.

One week ago my brother lost his battle with his demons. I am writing today not to talk about his demons or him in particular. I am writing because I know many people in our community struggle with this demon. Some of us have even contemplated how, and some have even tried. Sadly a lot succeed. What I want to tell you about is what happens to those who care about you, and everyone here has someone, even if it doesn't feel that way.

My brother and I were not as close as we once were. In recent years life being crazy, and stupid fights that should have been set aside years ago kept us apart. I'm sure we both thought there would be time to fix it and grow together again. Unfortunately we were both wrong.

Either way this story is about the people you leave behind.... every person I met this last weekend at his memorial said the same thing. "If only I could have....." every person that knew him blamed themselves for not doing enough, or doing too much, or adding to his stress, or not recognizing the signs. Every person that knew him thought they could have changed what happened if only they had done one thing different, myself included.

I am here to tell you if you are already grieving... there is nothing you could have done. The choices they made, they made alone, and nothing you could have said or done could have changed it. Their mind was already made up when they did what they did, and I am sorry for you loss.

What I saw was a family wrecked by a tragedy, coming together for support in a time of need and it made me realize something. When someone chooses to take their life due to the pain they are in... the pain doesn't die with them. Instead it is transferred to those that loved them. They now carry their own pain and the person lost's pain, and on top of that they have to mourn the loss. They leave everyone who ever cared in worse shape, wondering what if.

I saw my mother shaking and crying wishing I could take away her pain, with no way to do that. I saw my dad, the strongest man I have ever known dealing with the shock and having a hard time keeping his emotions in check to support a family that needed him. I watched our sisters all struggling to keep their tears from falling and trying to be strong for the family. I saw my brother heartbroken because he couldn't make it out to be with us. I saw his fiancé falling apart. I saw a family that can't afford much now struggling to pay for a funeral, I saw my sister use the money she had saved for her wedding in 2 months give up everything she had to pay for his service.

It made me ashamed of myself because back in 2005 I thought of doing the same thing, and almost went through with it. Luckily I had friends close that kept me from finishing the job. I almost did the same thing to my family, and I fell apart knowing that I almost ended up the same way making my family feel the same way. I woke up the next morning and wrote a little creed I have tried to live by every day, and I want to share it with you, and urge every one of you to write something similar and try to keep that oath.

"I pledge my life to my brothers and sisters. I vow that my last breath will be taken in battle with them. I will not fall unnecessarily before them fore that would leave them in the fight alone. I will do what I can for those that I can for as long as I am able."

Now to talk to those of you who are thinking that this is the answer. There is hope. Reach out. Talk to someone, anyone, message the page, message a friend... anything. You don't need a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You can turn life around. Now my life is much better, I have a 4 year old daughter I love to death. A wife and step son that mean the world to me and a family that supports me 100%. You to can have a great life again and spare your family the pain of losing a loved one.

Please reach out, save your family the pain that my family is currently struggling with.

-Phantom

Re: To all my Brothers and Sisters...

Posted: Wed Jun 28, 2017 10:05 pm
by BillyBob66
Thanks for posting that, Scuba. I know of some other folks that will benefit from reading this and I will share it with them.

Re: To all my Brothers and Sisters...

Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:47 am
by Scott
Unfortunately there are a lot who need this.

thanks for posting